Friday, January 22

So the other day I was reading Kelsie's blog of how she got locked out of her apartment and found myself thinking "man that would suck to be locked out, but in my case I probably don't have anything important to do right now, so for me it might even be quite the adventure". About 15 minutes later, I found myself thoroughly regretting that thought. I kid you not.
I had work off that day and got everything I needed to get done, done and was just chillin' out enjoying the freedom, so I thought I'd wander out to the mailbox and see if anything interesting had arrived. As soon as I closed the door behind me and heard an odd clicking sound something in my stomach dropped. I couldn't be sure though, because we'd just installed new locks about 2 weeks earlier so I was just getting used to their sounds. Weird, but makes sense to me. So i walked to the mailbox all slow and sloth like dreading facing my house door to find it locked. And locked it was. Firstly I had to laugh at myself, as I was remembering my thought before. Then I realized that unless a window or door was unlocked in the backyard, I really was stuck outside. Not so cool.
So the plan was to get over the fence, both sides of the house have small fence parts, both covered in rose bushes. So I picked the least feistiest one and made my ascent up and over the fence.
Let's just say that it was rather difficult and I may or may not have inflicted some serious cuts. Battle wounds I like to call them. So once i made it over the fence i had to find myself through the forest of other bush and tree crap that would lead me to the open back yard, which left my hair looking literally like a birds nest. I dont know what was going through my head when I thought to jump the fence because I was already pretty sure that there were no unlocked doors or windows out the back, but I couldnt just give up without trying could I !?
Anyways, no unlocked doors or windows. I got some of my dads fishing gear (knives ect.) and tried to somehow crack the locks on the glass sliding doors-again unsuccessful. I also gave myself a pretty big cut into my finger in the process which didnt stop bleeding for soooo long. So plan B was to see if I could get into any of the upstairs windows. Turns out the one out the front was open (its one of those diagonally open ones.. you know they open from the bottom?) so I got a big ladder and climbed onto the roof. I was seriously crapping my panties pretty badly by now. Then I crawled to the front of the house on the roof (I don't know if any of this is making sense but theres like a mini roof over the first storey of the house which sits right underneath the top windows) I made it to the half open window only to realise that it would never open far enough to even let my head through so my butt had no chance. Meanwhile my finger was still pissing blood all over the place, and lucky I dont mind seeing blood because otherwise I probably would have passsed out, rolled off the roof and landed on the ground. Unconscious. So I was counting myself lucky. Well, plan B didnt work so I slowly made my way around to the ladder again, praying that I wouldn't fall, and climbed back down. By this time I had come to the annoying, yet somewhat reassuring knowledge that my house is pretty much impossible for anyone to break into. Not even myself, mastermind. Ha!
I figured my only option left would just be to ask one of my neighbours for their phone and wait for puppa bear to get home. Which is what I did, and since I hadn't met this neighbour before, I was pleasantly suprised. She was lovely. Though I had to endure about an hour of "Bring It On Again" with her 12 year old daughter. Don't ever watch that movie. Worse than "Debs".
The End.
Ps. Finger is in much better condition.
Pps. If you made it to the end of this, congratulations.


  1. i don't know what's more disturbing, your finger bleeding out or the fact that D.E.B.S is referenced.
    sending well wishes! x

  2. This is so excellent.
    we should get locked out all the time and go on grand adventures.

    Rolling off the roof..haha.

  3. I have only cried from laughter 2 times. Ever. Old dogs last week at the movies, and 2 minutes ago. I really wish I was there to witness it. Such good value!